Mary in My Garden: Morning Calm

There is a statue in my rose garden. It is of Mother Mary. I put the statue in my garden last year during the height of the world wide lockdown. I was afraid of the unknown. I felt as if the world was coming to an end. Anxiety, depression, and a whole host of negative, fear-filled emotions drenched me, and nearly paralyzed me.

Then, I saw this statue of Mother Mary in the garden section of a store. I knelt in front of the statue and felt my heart calm to a slower pace. I ran my fingertips along the grainy texture. I know that the statue is not Mother Mary; but, rather a reminder of her instruction to trust her son, Our Lord Jesus Christ.

I struggled to place the statue in my cart, but I did.

Now, each morning, I walk in my garden and stop, kneel and pray that Mother Mary remembers me, remembers to pray for me and the whole world now and and at the hour of our deaths.

There has been a relentless reporting of death and destruction in the media. Anger, division, et cetera and et cetera.

Truth is, if we firmly believe in what God promises-that He will be our shelter in the storms, that He will be on the other side of the veil for those who love Him, that this life isn’t all there is, then we should not fear death, nor anything that can harm us in this life.

God alone is in control. There is nothing mortal man can do to us, God’s children. God is on His throne now and forever more.

In the evening after my day at work, I return to the garden and sit quietly and find peace in knowing that Mother Mary prays for me. I find peace in knowing that death will never, ever separate me from God and His love for me.

One day, I will go home to Heaven.

Of that I am certain.

I have lived my life to serve God. God is my eternal father and I lay my fears at His feet.

This is a drawing I did of Mother Mary. I thought of her as wearing blue.

God’s blessings to everyone who reads my blog.

Jenny W. Andrews copyright 2021

My Novel: Bully another Day

It is hard to believe that it has been almost twenty years ago since a dear family member had been bullied in middle school. The school principal’s solution was to tell this family member to just toughen up, to not be so sensitive. Apparently, the bully had some sort of behavioral problem and therefore was allowed to roam to the terror of the general school public. I guess the bully had more rights than my family member. Thankfully, this family member was able to be home-schooled and is now a successful professional and is almost 32 years old. Thankfully, this family member had the support of family. This family member most certainly did not have the support of the public school system. It had failed miserably then; over twenty years later I see that the public school system continues to fail.

Just last week, there was a school shooting at the high school I graduated from over forty years ago. Granted, back then there were fist fights and disagreements, but never was any firearms involved. I remember our principal was a former United States Marine and ran our high school like we were his troops. We feared him; we respected him; and, we loved him dearly because we knew we were safe under his watch. He was fair. He was compassionate. Above all, he demanded order. He informed us that actions have consequences. He drilled it into us that we alone were responsible for our screw-ups. Nobody else was to blame. That was empowering. We learned that we were in charge of our own actions and those actions had consequences. Period. No excuses. No and, if or buts.

I graduated and went on to college as did the majority of my classmates. Over the years, I have seen former classmates and I have heard them voice the same opinion of our principal. We felt safe. We felt listened to. My high school was in a neighborhood that would be classified today as “inner city.” It was comprised of hard-working, decent people who raised families to respect teachers, to respect police, and to respect oneself. I will be forever proud that I grew up in that neighborhood. It was what would be called today “multicultural.” We just called it home, sweet home.

Returning to my earlier reference to my bullied family member, I began to wonder exactly what the repercussions of bullying has on those who are mentally ill. What if the victim of the bullying is mentally ill? What further damage does that do? What would the consequences be on that bullied person?

This is when I began writing “Bully another Day.” It is a work of fiction. The main character Johanna is mentally disturbed, she gets bullied by three girls in high school, and years later she still holds on to the events. Needless to say, the book explores these ramifications. It includes vengeance, murder, and in the end redemption. It is more of a psychological thriller than a murder mystery, although it is a blending of the two.

Currently, it is only available in hardback. I am arguing with myself about whether to put it on Kindle. I like an actual book. I guess not everyone else does, though.

It is available on Amazon Books. Just search Jenny W. Andrews, Bully another Day.

And please be kind, if you choose to leave a book review.

I wrote this from my heart. It really isn’t about money or fame. I felt that I had this heaviness on my heart, especially when I read about school bullies, and I think back at how things could have turned out differently for my beloved family member had nobody intervened.

It is also heavy on my heart when I think about how things might have gone differently for those involved in school shootings if someone had only stepped forward and intervened.

Finally, if you know someone is being bullied, please say something. It never gets any better, in fact, silence only emboldens a bully. Retaliation, unfortunately, can be the consequence of bullying. These are some things to think about. God have mercy on our children in the public school system. It is indeed a failure. Only God can save it.

Thank you so much for reading.

Jenny W. Andrews Copyright 2021

Schadenfreude: Clowns Running Circus

This past year and a half feels like a journey to the depths of human depravity.

What do I mean by that, exactly?

Well, first let’s look at the definition of schadenfreude. It is a lovely, concise German word that means malicious joy at someone else’s misfortune. In other words, elation at another person’s suffering.

Because of COVID-19, people are dying and suffering. People are scared, terrified.

Those in charge of leading us are supposed to guide us, protect us, and serve us. Instead, it appears that clowns have taken over the circus. With large feet (inflated egos) they prance before us with self-aggrandizing arrogance and hubris.

The media who is supposed to be the purveyors of facts gleefully distort information that the rest of us rely on for our very existence, when it comes to this pandemic. We need to know the truth; sadly, it all appears to be a distortion no matter which media outlet is spewing their version of the details we need in order to make informed decisions.

There are those who take malicious joy in wishing ill will to those who have decided to wait for FDA approval before taking the vaccine.

Truth is that we are all in this together. Unfortunately, we are being pitted against each other.

Perhaps, if early on, the clowns hadn’t juggled the truth, tossed it in the air, and stomped on it with there oversized clown shoes, more people would be less hesitant to take that step to get vaccinated.

If, perhaps, the other clowns would cease from their bi-polar pontificating from their high wire above their audience, and get down to business and approve the allegedly life-saving medicines, people would more readily step forward and pay attention to the clowns.

Unfortunately, the clowns continue to spin their bumper cars in circles, crash into each other, stumble out with new playbills that say “do this this week; no, you don’t have to do that anymore. Wait! You gotta do this. No, wait! Don’t. . . “

COVID-19 is real. People are dying and suffering. This should not be politicized. It is not about what political party a person is affiliated with. It is about human life that can be lost, and/or damaged.

While the clowns compete with each other for the spotlight, and spout out nonsensical gibberish, and feast on the fear that they cruelly create, real human beings are dying, sinking into depression, giving into fear and the despair that comes with that fear.

Malicious joy at another person’s suffering is evil. Plain and simple.

What is needed is compassion. What is needed are leaders who will lead. What is needed is a media that reports the truth rather than making their words a political agenda.

It appears that the clowns revel in pitting their audience against each other.

This is not a competition. Let’s extend compassion to those who are afraid. Fact is, we are all afraid.

Let’s do better as human beings. Let’s be kind. Let’s let the clowns know that we are not pleased with their performance by demanding the truth rather than words being juggled, tight wire hysteria antics, and bungling shoe tripping.

Jenny W. Andrews Copyright 2021

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Hopelessness

Here we go again!

Told if we get the vaccine life would go back to normal.

Well, now we have to don the face mask once again regardless of vaccination status.

So, what was the point of vaccinations if you still have to wear a mask?

And please don’t answer me with all sorts of excuses, such as science is blah! Blah! etc.

I personally don’t care about excuses and reasons.

All I know is that I want to live my life free of this constant bombardment of hysteria.

It’s as if nothing we do will satisfy this, this thing.

I am just tired of it. It is grinding. It has gotten to be just too much.

Where can I go to escape this?

Am I just lost here on this lonely planet?

I would like to just find a quiet, safe place where I don’t hear the constant drum roll of Covid-19, and now Delta variant. What’s next? Epsilon?

It begs the question when Eta, Theta and Iota will manifest themselves.

Perhaps, these will show up this fall.

I surely hope not, but they probably will.

Let’s not forget Kappa, Lambda and Mu. Yep, I can just imagine these are all just waiting in the wings. I truly believe that it just will not end, all of this. . . .

Geez! It’s like some sick Fraternity/Sorority prank that has been played on the world!

Is this just the new normal?

It makes me feel absolutely hopeless.

I just cannot envision covering my face again as if I am some sort of pawn in a game I don’t want to play.

Mask up, folks!

Better yet, don two or maybe even four to be as safe as possible.

Vaccinated??

Mask up, too.

Just put the dang thing on and don’t say a thing.

Do exactly as you are instructed.

Do.

It.

Now.

No.

questions.

asked.

HOPELESSNESS.

It’s not going to get any better.

Of that I am now convinced.

Welcome to the new normal.

Jenny W. Andrews Copyright 2021

Be Awesome! Go ahead, You Can Do It!

A few months ago, I was browsing in a bookstore and I saw this neat little journal with the title “Make Today So Awesome Yesterday Gets Jealous.” I have no idea who said this, so unfortunately I can’t give credit to that writer, but I really like what this says.

This past year and a half has taken a toll on all of us. It zapped me of my creativity for a while, to be honest.

As a consequence, I stopped writing. Writing is my passion and it really hurt not to write. It has taken me a bit of time to get back in the swing of things that resemble normalcy.

When I bought this little journal, I had hoped it would inspire me. Needless to say, I put it on my shelf and ignored it until one morning I saw it just laying there with sunlight trickling through my window. I picked it up and with the neat little pen that came with it I started to write the first thing that came to my mind.

Unfortunately, the word “nothing” came to my mind. “Absolutely nothing.” That was back in March.

This week, I decided to open up the little journal and think about the words in the title. Just for fun, I wrote the words “I am awesome.” I laughed because I felt a little embarrassed; after all, I was raised not to boast about myself.

But, I wondered what was so wrong about feeling good about myself by writing “I am awesome.” Why not?

I laughed and decided to title each page I wrote in with the words “I am awesome.” Then, I proceeded to write out a plan for my writing. For example, I wrote that I had started chapter fifteen of my new novel, then the next day I wrote that I had started chapter sixteen. I also wrote that I had watched the exercise youtube channel Bodyproject low impact. I also noted that I have written on my WordPress blog this week.

Just seeing my accomplishments, just seeing that I am trying to move forward with small steps, has helped me to look forward rather than backwards.

Just for fun, I wrote “My awesome self has accomplished a lot this week.”

Yes, I laughed. I laughed because it feels good to laugh and to feel good about myself.

After all the sadness, anxiety, and stress of this past year, it feels good to laugh.

It feels good to believe in my ability to try again. It feels good to not give into the sadness of this life.

Yes, there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel.

Sometimes, that light comes in the form of sunlight shining through a curtain in the early morning.

I love this little journal and I intend to write in it everyday.

Thank you to whomever wrote those inspiring words on the cover.

So, everybody, go be awesome!! You can do it!!

Jenny W. Andrews Copyright 2021

Let’s Be Courageous

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is what it also takes to sit down and listen.“- Winston Churchill

Over this past year and a half, this world has become far too hostile; people have lost the ability to listen to the other side’s position. People have forgotten, it seems, that we all belong to one human family.

Most importantly, this is God’s world.

We are being divided into groups, rather than being united by our humanity. We are all God’s children and worthy of speaking our minds and worthy of being listened to. We do not always have to agree, but we can all agree to respect each other’s humanity.

Unity rather than division is what can salvage this mess that has transpired in the past year and half. Let’s find common ground and agree that in order to move forward we need to listen respectfully, and that when we do speak that our words build up rather than tear down.

Let’s be courageous and build each other up rather than tear each other down.

Let’s be courageous and reach across the aisle, across the table, across the fences, and find solutions that will make this world better than when we first entered it.

One inescapable truth is that tomorrow is not promised to any of us; another inescapable truth is that our lives are brief when we consider the centuries behind us and when we consider the centuries that are yet to come.

God is in control, not us.

He has put each of us on this earth for a purpose.

Jeremiah 29:11 says: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Joshua 1:11 says: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

This past year and a half has been absolutely dreadful with all the fear-mongering.

Truth is, God has commanded us to be courageous.

He has given us promises to prosper us.

God always keeps His promises.

Let’s be courageous.

Let’s have the courage to listen and to speak up for what is right with a spirit filled with respect for every human being we encounter.

We all, after all, are God’s children. We are all equal before God.

God is eternal; this life is temporary.

Let’s unite in a spirit of love and respect.

Let’s pray to God for the courage to make this world a better place, a place of peace for everyone.

Let’s be courageous.

Jenny W. Andrews copyright 2021

Will Life Ever Be Normal, Again?

This is a photo of me in October 2008 crossing the River Shannon in the Republic of Ireland.

I had always dreamed of traveling the world, and I actually got the opportunity back in 2008 to travel. I fell in love with the beauty, history, and awe-inspiring landscape of the Republic of Ireland.

My father had told me that once upon a time way back in our family’s history our roots had been deep in that land. Due to tragedy, suffering and fate (or destiny) our family ended up in Georgia sometime in the early part of the 1800’s.

It had been an honor to step foot on that soil and remember those family stories, and to remember those songs my father and his brothers would sing that hearkened back to those Irish roots.

It has been almost four months since I have written on this blog.

The past year and a half has done little to give me comfort in this life. If anything, all the saturation of fear mongering, threats of disease and death, isolation, quarantines, lockdowns, muzzling with masks, and the prohibition against basic human contact and interaction has been psychologically damning.

While we are allegedly allowed to go forth now and resume our lives with permission from the befuddled, baffled, and incompetent puppet-masters who have in one fell swoop managed to essentially destroy peoples’ lives, many people find it very, very difficult to just flip the switch and carry on as if nothing happened.

Well, something extremely vile, evil, and degrading did happen. Our freedom was ripped from us. Our sense of safety was ripped from us. Helpless and fearful is what the entire world was reduced to.

Just a few weeks ago, I was accosted in the World Market. I had lowered my muzzle (I mean mask) so that I could speak to a hearing-impaired family member. A store employee shamed me, repeatedly told me that they could bring me whatever it is I wanted to buy. Truth is I just wanted to be a normal person and shop.

Normal? Honestly, I don’t feel like life will ever get back to normal.

Although the muzzle (mask) mandate has been lifted (not entirely) in my state, I still see people wearing two masks. I see small children wearing masks.

Normal?

I had wanted to travel to Paris for my birthday this year, but I’ve decided that I just don’t feel like traveling anymore.

I don’t feel like doing much of anything, honestly.

It’s taking me awhile to get back to writing. I am trying to get back to some semblance of normalcy.

With writing and the cancel culture ramped up in full gear, I have become hesitant to even write, to even express myself anymore.

No, I am afraid that the damage has already been done to this world.

I am usually an optimist, but over the past year and a half I have lost my complete faith in society. Freedom was ripped from us; hardly anyone said anything. Everyone just goose-stepped in line, put on the muzzle (mask), shut up, avoided family and loved ones. The unquestioning compliance was absolutely disturbing. Debate was shut down and censored. This leaves me with no trust in society any longer.

I am not even sure why I am sharing my thoughts. I guess I still feel the human need to connect with others out there.

All I’ve ever wanted to do was to be happy, to help others, and to write my novels, short stories, and poetry.

And travel.

But, I will never, ever cover my mouth with a muzzle again. I am a human being and I will never again let anyone tell me to wear a muzzle as if I am an animal to be silenced.. If wearing a muzzle on an aircraft, train, bus requires me to muzzle like an animal, then I guess I will just drive my car.

I will skip Europe and any other place.

Well, I’ve had my say.

This is how I feel and honestly I couldn’t care less if anyone agrees with me.

I am hurt by the fear, the anxiety, and the uncertainty the puppet-masters inflicted on me and the rest of the world in this past year and a half.

People are celebrating in some places and cheering the “return to normalcy.”

I do not believe we will ever return to normalcy.

The damage has been done.

I am trying to rebound from it.

Only my faith in Jesus Christ will get me through this.

Pray for me. I pray for us all.

Jenny W. Andrews Copyright 2021

My Favorite Quote: Hope and Potential

Consult not your fears but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.

Words from Pope John XXIII

These are the words that I encourage you to remember in your heart as you go about your day. Life can be frustrating; but, there is so much potential in each of us.

Remember the words of Pope John XXIII.

Jenny W. Andrews copyright 2021