Well, I guess it’s back to the drawing board.
It’s been over two years since I self-published my novel “Bully Another Day,” my short story collection “Short Stories and Vignettes,” and a second poetry book “Spaces between the Pause.” I’ve only had one sale for “Bully Another Day.” That’s it. Of course, I really don’t know for sure whether this is it. . .I mean, how would I know for sure if someone purchased my books out there in the virtual world?
I unpublished my books, but according to Amazon/Kindle, a third party could still sell my books. Not altogether sure that I am onboard with that. . .their little message said that my books will not be available for sale now
But if they’re not available for sale then how could a third party sell something that is not available for sale?
I give up on trying to navigate this virtual world behind a computer screen. It is isolating and dehumanizing.
I wonder if I should just delete my books. I need to look back and see if there is even an option for that. Probably not. Life behind a computer screen is like that song “Welcome to the Hotel California”. . .You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.
So, I wonder if I can submit my manuscripts to a publisher. Probably not, since I’ve self-published.
I have grown quite weary of all this. I am just tired.
Writing has always been something I have enjoyed, but, but, the quest to get published, to get just a little recognition has grown quite exhausting.
Self-publishing has felt like an exercise in futility; it is like hurling oneself down a dark, dank tunnel. Maybe others have had more success than I have. And, I congratulate you if you have been successful.
But, alas, I have failed at self-publishing. With the exception of my poetry book “Life at the End of the Rainbow,” which did sell a few copies, I have failed.
So, I throw in the towel; I send up the white flag; I step away from this unconquerable task.
I did try; I did attack it with optimism and dedication; I did have a plan. . .
So, this brings me to a quote by Mike Tyson “Everybody has a plan ’till they get punched in the mouth.” (Brainyquote).
I’ve definitely gotten punched in the mouth (metaphorically, of course).
I’ve actually gotten hurt in my heart; writing has always been my passion.
I am not sure what to do about this. . .this disappointment. . .this failure. . .
I’d like to say I will get up and brush myself off and try again. . .
So, what is the clinical definition of insanity? Doing the same thing and expecting a different result?
I need to think about that. . .Yeah, I think I’ll just skip self-publishing and search for a publisher or literary agent. . .
Leave a comment, if you’d like. Any suggestions?
Be kind, though. My heart hurts. . .
Jenny W. Andrews copyright 2022