There is Always a Sunrise

silhouette of mountains during sunrise
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2019 is quickly coming to an end. Soon enough it will be history. Endings can be sad; in fact, depression increases this time of year. We tend to dwell on those goals we failed to accomplish; we tend to dwell on what could have been and what should have been. We tally up our losses and oftentimes neglect to consider our gains. The truth is that we cannot undo what has been done; we cannot go back and do what we should have done. We have to reconcile ourselves to our choices. It is too easy to search for someone or something to blame for our failures. Of course, we are influenced by conditions beyond our control, such as downward turns in the economy and illness.

We can, however, control whether to watch a movie on Netflix or write a chapter of our novel. We can control whether to spend money on buying shoes we don’t really need or donating money to a reputable charity. Our time is precious and once spent it is irretrievably gone forever.

We must reconcile ourselves to the consequences of our choices. If we waste our precious time dedicated to actions that do not move us towards our definition of prosperity (spiritual, physical, emotional, mental) then we have to reconcile ourselves to those consequences.

It takes courage to accept consequences for our own actions.

In 2020, define what your purpose is in your own life. What matters the most to you? How are you planning to achieve your purpose? What will this time next year look like to you?

Jeremiah 29:11 states: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Clearly, you do not have to go it alone. God is ever-present and is supportive of you. Lean on His support. He wants you to prosper and he offers you hope and a future.

A quote of which I have not been able to attribute to an author is:

“God has a purpose for your pain, a reason for your struggles, and a reward for your faithfulness. Don’t give up.”-unknown author (spiritualcleansing.org)

Don’t give up. Just don’t give up. God has a purpose for your life. Find that purpose. You have a purpose. Ask God for guidance to find that purpose. Lean on Him.

Unfortunately, in our world people tend to define success in monetary terms; in truth, success has a far greater definition than just money. When I think of a successful life, I remember my mother and how she shared love and joy. She genuinely loved from her heart and soul. She was never monetarily rich, but her spirit was rich beyond measure.

Define what success is to you. How will you achieve your definition of success?

Zig Ziglar wrote: “You are a success when you have made friends with your past, are focused on the present, and are optimistic about the future.” (Ziglar.com)

2020 is a new year. It is a new decade. This life’s journey only goes forward; there is no turning back on this road.

There is, however, always a sunrise.

With each new sunrise, how are you going to spend your precious time?

Copyright 2019 Jenny W. Andrews

Giving Up Christmas, 2010

fir tree decor
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GIVING UP CHRISTMAS, 2010

Left over poinsettias fade to pink,

crumpled brown leaves scatter on the stained black and white linoleum.

Plastic Christmas tree sticks out of the half-closed brown cardboard box.

Broken red ornament shatters in fragments on the brown carpet.

It’s all just an illusion,

this thing.

 

Copyright 2010 Jenny W. Andrews

 

Excuses

high angle view of train on railroad tracks
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Excuses

Words cannot express the possibility, the probability.

Also,

there is no sound, not even in the silence.

End of the dictionary: Z.

I have reached the end.

Night fell; broke into pieces.

Flute lovingly caresses the night, displaced melody of butterflies racing across Spring valleys filled with sheep, green meadows, stones ancient and crumbling.

What whispers ceased to fall silently into the snow drifts?

Lights against the city-scape,  a world doused with apple red wine, igniting nonsense.

Merry-go-round,

too many horses with too many marmosets in hot pursuit.

Can I ever exit the ride?

This fracture is blood and bone deep.

Great grandpa Anastacio abandoned Great grandma Francisca at the old train station on the Chilean border in a place ironically called Paso Los Libertadores.

I occupy this empty chair.

Jenny W. Andrews Copyright 2019

Unexpected Encounter

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Terminal A West, Philadelphia Airport,

I lumber along the concourse laden with heavy bags,

faces blur around me like kaleidoscope renderings.

From out of the crowd, his face jars me, transports me back to another time.

I am immobilized by turquoise shadows falling from his familiar eyes.

“I know you,” his voice calls across the trajectory of four decades and reverberates and reawakens someone I used to be.

I call his name; I drop my bags. Awkwardly we share a brief embrace. Strangers push past us.

Tossed backward into time, memory of us, of a night long, long ago on a moonlit stretch of beach.

Over Starbucks coffee, he tells me of his father’s dying in Albuquerque, of his third ex-wife. I tell him of my failed attempts at publishing my great American novel, my inability to find true and lasting love.

He sips his coffee, glances at his watch, fails to speak.

I struggle to find the words to replace those spoken forty years ago. He  stands in my memory at the edge of the sidewalk in that old apartment complex with moonlight shining against his handsome face, rain slowly tapping against my windowpane.

He looks up from his coffee, speaks. “I think you should have stayed. I really loved you. I really did. We were young back then. I guess we had to go and conquer our dreams.”

I nod, gather my bags. Sorrow drowns me. The past cannot be undone. Words cannot be unspoken.

He stands; we quickly embrace. We fail to exchange numbers.  So accustomed to failure, I resign myself to the loss of him. I let him go. I let him go.

So damned long ago, I let him go.

 

Copyright 2019 Jenny W. Andrews

 

 

Rescued

close up photo of beagle resting head on armrest
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Rescued

BoBo nestles beside me wrapped in his pink blanket,

Australian Shepard/Beagle/ Dachshund, my little rescuer,

having rescued me from the sadness, from the darkness,

he my shadow, my faithful little friend.

Cold black nose, his lips turning upward as if smiling in his sleep.

His chin resting on his big paws,

my perfect friend,

in his silent sleep, his presence comforts me,

nestled next to me.

 

Jenny Andrews Copyright 2019

 

It has been three years since I adopted BoBo from a pet rescue in my community. He was one of a litter; his mother had been rescued as had his father. Dogs (and cats) can bring such joy to someone’s life. Consider adopting from an animal shelter or a reputable animal rescue if you are considering getting a pet. Pets take a lot of care and attention, but they are such a blessing, as well. BoBo has been a blessing to me.

Merry Christmas and Happy 2020!