Well, I guess it’s back to the drawing board.
It’s been over two years since I self-published my novel “Bully Another Day,” my short story collection “Short Stories and Vignettes,” and a second poetry book “Spaces between the Pause.” I’ve only had one sale for “Bully Another Day.” That’s it. Of course, I really don’t know for sure whether this is it. . .I mean, how would I know for sure if someone purchased my books out there in the virtual world?
I unpublished my books, but according to Amazon/Kindle, a third party could still sell my books. Not altogether sure that I am onboard with that. . .their little message said that my books will not be available for sale now
But if they’re not available for sale then how could a third party sell something that is not available for sale?
I give up on trying to navigate this virtual world behind a computer screen. It is isolating and dehumanizing.
I wonder if I should just delete my books. I need to look back and see if there is even an option for that. Probably not. Life behind a computer screen is like that song “Welcome to the Hotel California”. . .You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.
So, I wonder if I can submit my manuscripts to a publisher. Probably not, since I’ve self-published.
I have grown quite weary of all this. I am just tired.
Writing has always been something I have enjoyed, but, but, the quest to get published, to get just a little recognition has grown quite exhausting.
Self-publishing has felt like an exercise in futility; it is like hurling oneself down a dark, dank tunnel. Maybe others have had more success than I have. And, I congratulate you if you have been successful.
But, alas, I have failed at self-publishing. With the exception of my poetry book “Life at the End of the Rainbow,” which did sell a few copies, I have failed.
So, I throw in the towel; I send up the white flag; I step away from this unconquerable task.
I did try; I did attack it with optimism and dedication; I did have a plan. . .
So, this brings me to a quote by Mike Tyson “Everybody has a plan ’till they get punched in the mouth.” (Brainyquote).
I’ve definitely gotten punched in the mouth (metaphorically, of course).
I’ve actually gotten hurt in my heart; writing has always been my passion.
I am not sure what to do about this. . .this disappointment. . .this failure. . .
I’d like to say I will get up and brush myself off and try again. . .
So, what is the clinical definition of insanity? Doing the same thing and expecting a different result?
I need to think about that. . .Yeah, I think I’ll just skip self-publishing and search for a publisher or literary agent. . .
Leave a comment, if you’d like. Any suggestions?
Be kind, though. My heart hurts. . .
Jenny W. Andrews copyright 2022
2 thoughts on “Unpublishing”
What outcome are you seeking; what defines success?
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Hi Kim, Thanks for commenting and reading my blog. The outcome I was seeking was that people would buy my book and enjoy what I had written. Of course, I did get a few positive reviews on my books; but, my main issue is with Amazon/Kindle. My main focus now is to reach out to small presses rather than self-published. Self-publishing might be effective for other writers, and I wholeheartedly applaud those for whom success is possible. However, it just hasn’t been that for me. Regarding success (in writing), having my books published so that I can share my particular voice with readers. I wrote a novel “Bully another Day” about the impact of bullying on a person who already had a mental illness. I tried to promote that novel, but to no success. So, I have made it unavailable; I do plan to go back to the drawing (writing board) revise it, and submit it to a small press. Maybe, they will publish it as a second edition since it was previously self-published. The truth is that to me writing is about sharing my voice and my particular perspectives. I want to be positive in my writing; I want readers to engage with my words and find something of lasting value from them. That’s my definition of success: making a positive, thought-provoking impact on readers.
I am a writer. I will never stop trying to get my words out there. To me, success is defined as never giving up and never giving in. To me, success is standing my ground and not changing for the world. I am a writer. And, I always will be. . .
Again, thanks for reading and leaving a comment. Please leave another comment if you’d like. Have a wonderful weekend.