2020 is just around the corner and I am inspired to focus on what I can accomplish in those 365 days. In years past, I wasted far too much time looking back at my mistakes and mulling over my regrets. I have come to realize that life is about ups and downs, successes and failures. Sometimes I win; sometimes I lose. That is just the natural rhythm of life. In this post-modern age we have unrealistic expectations that there is some “perfect” state of being we are supposed to become. It is a taboo to admit that we are sad, angry, lonely, confused or otherwise not “centered” and “mindful.” We are supposed to be “enlightened,” whatever that is supposed to mean.
The truth is that it is emotionally, spiritually, and physically messy to be human. There is no perfect state of being. I say it is more emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy to just fess up to the hard truth that our lives are not always going to be perfect. There are going to be those inevitable days that we veer off the road and land in the ditch. There are going to be those inevitable days that we just want to sit in the dark and cry. There are going to be those days that we order a large sugary, five-thousand calorie coffee drink from our favorite coffee shop and top it off with a side order of a three thousand calorie chocolate infused pastry. There are going to be those days your mouth opens up and your true thoughts spew out and the sound of your escaping words sound very, very ugly. Life is very, very messy, indeed.
We all make mistakes. We all have regrets. In this upcoming year, my focus is going to be on the future not the past. I have promised myself that if I do make mistakes (and I will inevitably) I will pick myself up and brush myself off and show grace and forgiveness to myself. Maybe in some circles that attitude would qualify me as “enlightened.” I think it just qualifies me as showing self-compassion.
In 2020, my goals include finishing up my writing projects and publishing my work. 365 days are a lot of days. I promise myself not to procrastinate. What is my passion? Writing is my passion. If I don’t focus on my passion I have no one else to blame but myself, after all I am in charge of my own life. I claim 2020 as my year to succeed in my goals. I set my sights on the future.
The writer George Eliot (Mary Anne Evans) wrote “IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN.”
Actor John Wayne said “COURAGE IS BEING SCARED TO DEATH-AND SADDLING UP ANYWAY.”
We are all scared in this life. If you are not scared you must not be paying very close attention. It is a very scary world. It is also a beautiful, wonderful world filled with kind people. Surround yourself with beauty and kindness. Be the change you want to see.
Just as John Wayne said, I plan to saddle up in spite of my fear. Just as Eliot (Evans) wrote, I plan to be who I want to be.
Happy 2020 to everyone! Have a blessed New Year!
Copyright 2019 Jenny W. Andrews
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